Making Positive and Productive Interactions

Meeting others needs
Most of us desire to have positive and constructive relationships with the people in our lives yet for one reason or another we tend to occasionally encounter problems. For example, there will be times that we wish we could just find the right things to say and do when interacting with someone who appears not to be responding to us as we want them to. However, sometimes the more we try to meet another person's needs, the worse the relationship becomes, yet we don't know what we could have done differently to turn the situation around and achieve at least a true mutually beneficial outcome.

One of the primary reasons for failure in our interactions tends to be associated with us acting in ways that does not meet the needs of the other person. We tend to instinctively know that we are all different, yet many of us don't appear to appreciate this when working with others. In many instances we believe that what we are doing is right and that the other person should change their behaviour and actions to suit us. This can tend to be the worst position to adopt once we understand that the only behaviour we can effectively modify is our own. We have produced the following case study to illustrate a process that can be used to obtain information on self-perception behavioural preferences and how these would impact on those we interact with.

Case Study - The New Manager
This case study is based on the issues a real person encounters when having to relate to a new manager. The situation and the actual feedback generated is a true representation of what was involved; however, we have given all the people involved fictional names to protect their identity.

Background - Describing the Situation and Issues
Rawina had developed a very good working relationship with her manager who was very open and approachable. This enabled them to invest time sharing information on an informal basis whenever they met as the manager showed a general interest in her and all her colleagues in their department. In fact his departmental meetings tended to be something of a social occasion as well as being focused on the business requirements which always appeared to be satisfactorily achieved.

 However, there has been a change in management with her manager being promoted to a new position in another part of the country. Chris, her new manager, appeared to be quite a different character in that she was more task focused and did not appear to display the same degree of openness and approachability as her previous manager.

 Therefore, when dealing with her manager Rawina felt a lot of frustration as Chris appeared to approach every meeting and task with what appeared to her to be an unreasonable sense of urgency in the way she always wanted things done.

Rawina felt most frustrated at her inability to get to know her new manager as Chris did not appear to be interested in any kind of general social chat or sharing of life experiences.

Rawina felt most frustrated at her inability to get to know her new manager as Chris did not appear to be interested in any kind of general social chat or sharing of life experiences.

Whenever she met with Chris the focus was always on what Rawina had done and that she was achieving her targets on time. However much she tried to engage in 'getting to know you' dialogue with Chris the less responsive her she appeared to be. All of this led Rawina to decide that she needed to obtain clarify on what was going on in her relationship with her manager. She also thought that Chris did not take enough time to think about issues that were important to her so she decided to find a way to better understand what was going on by using the Centell Behavioural Positioning System.

Finding a process to identify the Gap!
This is where Centell Limited on-line behavioural questionnaires proved to be a very effective tool in helping Rawina understand what was going on and more importantly what she needed to do to make the relationship work.

Step One - Self-Perception
The immediate feedback Rawina received after completing a Relationship Colours self-perception questionnaire produced the following graphic illustrating her colour behavioural style preferences. This showed that she tended to work with a very high Yellow style preference which indicated that she was very focused on relationships. This was confirmed by Rawina who said that she tended to work hard to get to know people and was also interested in what they did during their leisure time. She found it relatively easy to relate to her colleagues and the fact that she appeared to hit a brick wall when trying to relate to her manager was a major concern. Rawina acknowledged that she spent a lot of time talking to colleagues, but in her view it did not affect her ability to produce the required results although it sometimes took her a little longer than planned. However, she had received feedback from colleagues that she should learn to give more focus on the task than on the people. However, Rawina felt that by knowing her colleagues she was able to do a better job.

Step Two - 180° (Your Perception of Others)
Rawina continued the process by completing 180° Relationship Colours questionnaires on her manager, three colleagues and her partner. The results are summarised in the following Relationship Colours Map where the colour segments are indicated by a four legged diagram. The diagram provided her with a quick guide to the strengths she saw each person having as well as an indication of the quadrant she was likely to find herself in.

The map shown below illustrates how Rawina perceived the behavioural preferences of the five people she wanted feedback on.

This feedback indicated that she saw her partner being positioned well into the Green quadrant. With her colleagues she saw Ann-Marie as having a moderately strong Green style, Warwick with a strong Blue style, Brent being just in the Red style and close to the Blue style. Finally she perceived that her manager also had a preference for the Blue behavioural style.

Step Three - 360° (Others perception of You)
Discovering her self-perception was the first step in the mapping triangulation process. Rawina was aware that it was even more important to find out how her partner, colleagues and manager saw her. This input would help her to understand what was going on in each of her relationships so she invited them to complete a 360° Relationship Colours questionnaire on her. She received the colours style feedback immediately each person completed a questionnaire and then sourced a copy of the behavioural map from Centell Limited.

The feedback did not surprise Rawina. She learned that all her colleagues bar one, including her manager, perceived her to be close to her self-perception in the Yellow behaviour style segment as shown in the Relationship Colours Map below. She was also not surprised to see that Phillipa, who was one of her team, had put her in the Blue style quadrant because she felt that she needed to constantly chide her to get things done on time.

Outcomes from Centell Behavioural Positioning System

From the analysis she firstly learned that there were no rights or wrongs in the feedback because it is relative to how she and others perceive their own worlds, and those they relate to in each situation they encounter. Secondly, Rawina learned that as colleagues interacted with her, they tended to sense if they were more or less Task and more or less Relationship oriented than she was. This means that each person was subconsciously forming a Relationship Colours Map similar to the maps illustrated by positioning themselves in relation to how they judged her behaviour.

Recognising How to be Positively Different
Her challenge was to learn to appreciate the differences and look for ways to modify her behaviour in order to relate more effectively with her manager and colleagues. She learned through discussion with Chris that there were occasions when she thought that Rawina was too casual in her approach. This was most noticeable when they were pushing for a project to be completed on time. On these occasions Rawina appeared to spend a lot of time 'chatting' which suggested to Chris that she was not as committed to the project as they were.

Chris used real examples of the behaviour she observed Rawina using that in her view was inappropriate. The outcome was a sharper awareness that there were times that she needed to focus more on the work that needed to be done. This meant that she needed to moderate how much time she spent engaging colleagues in what could be considered to be "social chat". Chris also asked Rawina to be prepared for meetings with her and to give the facts on performance with the minimum amount of what Chris considered to be "waffle". By making these changes in agreed situations it was felt that it would truly assist her manager and colleagues to improve overall effectiveness and productive.

Sustaining Own Strengths
Rawina also realised through her discussions with her colleagues that her strengths of openness, approachability, concern for the team's wellbeing, and desire to see the team work in harmony were very much appreciated and that it was important that she continued to use these behaviours day-to-day. In reality she learned the key areas others wanted her to continue to do because they added significant value, the key areas to modify because they detract from her (and others) effectiveness and what to start doing differently because these areas would enable more effective working relationships for herself and others.

Reciprocating Feedback
Recognising that she did not need to change her personality was a relief for Rawina who soon developed a communication system with each of her colleagues that gave her feedback on when she needed to act differently and feedback on when the changes she made met their needs. At the end of a month working on the changes Rawina received feedback that she had made a measurable difference in her behaviour and everyone felt much more together as a team. Chris had also become more relaxed when interacting with Rawina and this had helped their relationship to develop.

The more Rawina strived to meet her colleagues needs her efforts were reciprocated by them in that they became much more open to feedback from her when they needed to change behaviour to meet Rawina's own needs and overall each others strengths were more appreciated and emerged as required.

Healthier Transparent Relationships
The overall outcome for Rawina and her colleagues was increased self-awareness, improved self management and an ability to explore issues from different perspectives, all of which led to measurable improvements in their relationships. In addition the team was able to create a healthier culture/working environment that was more productive and in which any conflict that appeared to be emerging was able to be resolved more effectively resulting in a less stressful working climate.

Discovering your Behavioural Preferences

The Behavioural Positioning System developed by Centell Limited is just the right tool to help improve your self-awareness by obtaining a relatively accurate picture of the behaviour you choose to use when dealing with others. The process is designed to overcome the risk of self-delusion rather than self-awareness. This is done by ensuring that you test your own self-perception with the perception of other people you trust to give you honest feedback.

The case study illustrated how insights are achieved by using a relatively easy process of discovering your behavioural preferences through a self and others perception that we call "triangulation". To recap the mapping process involves the following steps:

Step One: You complete a self-perception Relationship Colours questionnaire to obtain a picture of your colour behavioural style preferences and how to make the most of them.

Step Two: You identify at least 4 or more people that are important to you for whatever reasons and complete a 180° (Your Perception of Others) Relationship Colours Questionnaire on each of them.

Receiving instant feedback on your perceptions will allow you to better assess their agendas, where they are coming from, and identify the actions and approaches you can use to work more effectively with them.

Step Three: You now invite the same people you did the 180° questionnaire to complete a 360° (Others Perception of You) Relationship Colours questionnaire on you. Once again the immediate feedback enables you to compare and understand how they see you to enable you to determine what steps, if any, are required to improve your relationships that move you towards consistently achieving mutually beneficial outcomes.

Relationship Colours Questionnaire

Feedback results from your self-perception
Your Preferred Relationship Colour Responses from the questionnaire feedback.

Find out where your Relationship Colour preference lies in terms of the following constructs:
Your approach to Relationships
Your approach to Tasks

Pointers to assist with understanding your results:

From the information gained from the self, 180 & 360 degree profiles we then position you and the other people on the Centell Relationship Colours Map.

Successful Life Journey
Most of us have some idea of what success would mean for us and this is why there is not one single standard process or training programme that would give everyone the success they seek. The same principle applies when it comes to building effective relationships at work, socially or with family and friends. Almost everyone seeks respect and understanding in their relationships and ask that they be treated the way that they want to be treated not the way you want to treat them. By finding ways to meet the other person's needs the probability is high that they will reciprocate by finding ways to better meet your needs.

Using our Relationship Colours Positioning system on a regular basis will offer you the necessary insights and clues that can guide you to behaving in a manner that enables you to effectively relate to an increasing range of people. The more comfortable people become around you your level of confidence will rise coupled with your capability to tackle most things in a more appropriately productive manner.

In a business setting this will lead to improved productivity and a potentially better working life. With family and friends you will be able to navigate your way through the trials and tribulations of life with the confident knowledge that you will get most things right. You will be more in control of your behaviour and thus better able to manage your relationship in ways that meet the needs of those most dear to you along with the people you were not able to tolerate in the past. Every human being needs respect and understanding of who they are and this will now be well embedded in your behavioural toolkit to deliver with ease.

The journey to the success you desire can become a much more pleasurable series of events and irrespective of the roadblock and hurdles life and people put in your path you will find an effective way forward even if this means making detours or stopping to refresh and review progress and the action to take to move to the next challenge. We wish you well and are convinced that using our Relationship Colours tools will give you the necessary positive edge in all your transaction and relationship.